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Writer: 西岡麻衣子 (Nishioka Maiko)
Screenshot 20200504-215709
Location: Resting Area
The day of the showdown
Rinne Amagi Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

So, Kohaku-chan. Did you find a nice, proper job?

Kohaku Oukawa Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Ehem. Clean your eyes and have a good look, y’all! This is it!

HiMERU Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

--This is… A collaboration with a honey maker?

Niki Shiina Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Honey! Nice! I love honey-lemon jelly, tea with honey and honey-mustard chicken. And it tastes great in a ginger-fried pork dish or even a curry.

Also, it’s already plenty delicious by itself on warm toast. It’s the best ☆

Rinne Amagi Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Hmmm. A music collaboration in a commercial, huh… That honey maker’s not super famous, so the pay isn’t much to rave about… So, why’d you choose this one?

Kohaku Oukawa Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Well, it’s not like we’re famous either yet. It’s a standard practice to promote new songs through collaborations in commercials.

And the goods they sell in this collab are honey -- Which is related to our unit name, so folks will be able to remember the name Crazy:B easily.

HiMERU Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

--Indeed. HiMERU thinks that this reasoning holds up well.

Kohaku Oukawa Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

And then there’s this. Did y’all know? There’s been a bit of a honey boom among female influencers lately.

It’s an overlappin’ clientele with our target group.

Niki Shiina Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Aah, now that you say it, they do say honey has some beautifying properties. As an ingredient, it’s popular among women~.

Rinne Amagi Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Hmm ♪ This is better than the last one, but I’m not completely sold on it.

Kohaku Oukawa Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

That was my first impression of this job, too. But actually, there’s this certain actor who’s gonna be havin’ an appearance in this commercial as well.

Niki Shiina Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Hmm? Never heard of them. Are they a big name or something?

HiMERU Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

-- If HiMERU’s memory serves right, they’re a newcomer. But that means they don’t have the influence to bring in a lot of popularity…

Kohaku Oukawa Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Well, y’see. There are certain rumors on the internet that this actor is gonna be starrin’ in a super highly-anticipated movie that’s gonna be announced next month.

If that’s true, then they’ll definitely rise to popularity real soon!

Which means that as an inevitable result, our commercial is goin’ to garner some attention as well, right? So I looked into it to see if those rumors were the real thing.

-- And from what I found out, the rumor seems mighty credible.

HiMERU Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

--That makes sense. This way of choosing a job couldn’t have been done by anyone but Oukawa. HiMERU and the others aren’t that well-versed in online spheres, after all.

Rinne Amagi Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Hey, not half bad! I like it ♪

Kohaku Oukawa Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

How d’you like them apples! Your turn, Rinne-han. I’ll take it you brought a mighty good one?

Rinne Amagi Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

After hearin’ that, I can’t let you down! Everyone, pay close attention!

This is what I’ve got! Tadah~☆

Kohaku Oukawa Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Did my eyesight get worse or somethin’? ‘Cause it looks to me like Rinne-han isn’t showin’ us anythin’.

HiMERU Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

--Your eyesight is fine, Oukawa. HiMERU doesn’t see anything, either.

Niki Shiina Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Sheesh~! Rinne-kun. I told you they’d be pissed if you showed up empty-handed~! 

Kohaku Oukawa Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Hey… What’s the meanin’ of this? Dependin’ on your answer, you might have me to reckon with, got it?

Rinne Amagi Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Now, now. No need to live fast ‘n die young! Hear me out to the end. Once you see where this is goin’, you’ll definitely acknowledge that Kohaku-chan’s lost this match!

Kohaku Oukawa Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Spare us the pontifications and explain yourself already.

Rinne Amagi Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Did you know? Among bees, there are hard-workin’ bees, bees that work a normal amount, and bees that slack off and basically do no work whatsoever. The distribution of these is 2:6:2.

But when you remove the bees that don’t do any work at all and once again divide the rest into hard workers, those who work a normal amount, and slackers, the distribution is still 2:6:2!

HiMERU Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

-- There may be some slight alterations to it, but this sounds like the “Pareto principle[1]”.

Kohaku Oukawa Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

...I think I know what the punchline’s gonna be here, but I’ll let you finish just in case. --Go on?

Rinne Amagi Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

So basically, what I’m sayin’ is: In proportion to how much I didn’t do jack shit, the effort Kohaku-chan put into findin’ a good job increased! It’s all thanks to me ☆

Which means there’s no doubt that the winner of this match is Rinne-kun!

Kohaku Oukawa Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Quit screwin’ arouuuund! You utter nincompoop! As-friggin’-if!

HiMERU Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

--Sigh. So Shiina’s prediction was spot on…

Niki Shiina Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

I know, right~? It was a “crapshoot”, just like I said, wasn’t it~?

HiMERU Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

On another note, Amagi. If HiMERU’s memory serves right, this story you told us is actually about ants, not bees.

Rinne Amagi Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Huh, for realsies? Well, ants and bees are pretty similar, so don’t sweat the details!

Put a pair of wings on an ant, and what do you get? A bee. And anyhow, they’re both insects ♪

Kohaku Oukawa Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

These aren’t details we’re sweatin’! I’ll teach you to mess around and spout bogus like that! Not a single inch of this was thanks to the likes of you, got it!?

This job is somethin’ I got “all by myself”!

HiMERU Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

(! My, isn’t that something…)

(Guess you got a better result than anticipated, Amagi.)

--Now then, HiMERU would say this match is settled.

HiMERU thinks that Oukawa is the unanimous winner of this contest.

Niki Shiina Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Agreed~! I also vote for Kohaku-chan.

Rinne Amagi Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Hey, what gives. Don’t betray me, Niki! Aren’tcha on my team!?

Kohaku Oukawa Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Ko ko ko ♪ No one here’s on your side. Game, set and match, Rinne-han. Now what am I gonna make you do for the penalty game~♪

Rinne Amagi Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Guh, you’re all gangin’ up on me, how cruel! This is the first step to how bullyin’ starts, y’know? Rinne-kun says NO to bullyin’!

Kohaku Oukawa Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Fufun ♪ Serves ya right!

Niki Shiina Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Aw ma~n. I knew this was gonna happen, but here comes the penalty game. I’m gonna get so hungry…

HiMERU Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

--Fufu.

--What a truly eloquent and cunning man. In the end, Oukawa-- No, all of us, won the game, but lost the match against him.

Niki Shiina Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Hmm? Are you talking about Rinne-kun?

HiMERU Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

--Who knows?

Niki Shiina Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

………..

(Lazy Honey Bee) Rinne Amagi CG
Practice Room
The following day
Rinne Amagi Casual Spring-Summer Dialogue Render

How come I have to do this fuckin’ clean-up job... I’m such a poor thing.

Makin’ the penalty game “cleaning up”, Kohaku-chan must be the personification of evil[2]. Doesn’t anyone feel bad for poor little Rinne-kun…!

Niki Shiina Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

You’ve had it coming, Rinne-kun. I’m the one you should be feeling bad for~, I got completely dragged into all this--

Wh-, ugyAH!?

What’re you swinging that mop around for!? Uwah, that was close!?

Rinne Amagi Casual Spring-Summer Dialogue Render

I suddenly got pissed off ‘cause I remembered how you betrayed me, Niki ♪ Have a taste of how well I handle my stick[3]!

Niki Shiina Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

You can really do just about anything, huh!? Gimme a break, don’t take your irrational anger out on me!

...Ah. That reminds me, there was something I meant to ask you, Rinne-kun.

Rinne Amagi Casual Spring-Summer Dialogue Render

Ahn? What’s up?

Niki Shiina Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

Could it be that you only instigated all of this as an act, to help Kohaku-chan build some self-confidence?

Rinne Amagi Casual Spring-Summer Dialogue Render

...I’ve got no clue what you’re talkin’ about. I just like a good gamble, that’s all ♪

Ah, sayin’ that made me wanna go play some pachinko! Come on Niki, let’s get this done and over with and hit up the parlor!

And of course, Niki’s gonna sponsor me! I said so, which means it’s decided! So let’s finish this clean-up at mach-speed and bounce ☆

Niki Shiina Casual Spring-Summer Live 2D Dialogue Render

I see. So that’s how it is…

Aw ma~n. It’s like Rinne-kun always gets the last laugh, how unfair…

Rinne Amagi Casual Spring-Summer Dialogue Render

Niki, you little shit! Quit mutterin’ under your breath and get those hands movin’! All the good machines are gonna get taken if we don’t get a wiggle on!

Kyahahaha ☆ I feel like today’s gonna be my lucky day!

  1. Pareto Principle
  2. He uses the same 鬼 here that Kohaku used earlier in his “there’s good people everywhere” line. An ongoing theme?
  3. Innuendo aside, he's using Boujutsu
Translation: Bakemonoremy
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